10 Days into Seminary Life

When I first decided to apply to St. Joseph College Seminary in Chicago, the essence of community and brotherhood played a huge factor. I wanted to be around other guys headed toward the same goal. Now ten days into my seminary career, I have already begun to see it more clearly. On Move-In Day, returning seminarians helped move myself and other new seminarians into our rooms and introduced themselves. They were very glad that we were here. I'm glad I am too!

If it were not for my brother seminarians helping me and guiding me in the right direction, I would never have learned the things that I now know. Before coming to St. Joseph's, I knew that good liturgy was always important, but I never had been to a place where everyone is passionate about liturgy, liturgy that is flowing but yet has structure and body. Good timing and reverent movement is very essential when serving, lectoring and even while being an Extraordinary Minister of the Holy Eucharist.

If it were not for my brother seminarians, I would not have been able to tie my own cincture and wear a collar with my cassock. I would not have know how to decorate an altar after it had been anointed during the Dedication of the Altar Mass that we just had the previous evening in our brand new chapel. So far, seminary has taught me how important it is to work with one another. Cooperation is very important.

In a way, my brother seminarians are my new family. We live, eat, pray, study, and play together. It really is what I needed. I needed to be around other guys who are determined to meet one goal, growing together in love and service, and God-willing,one day as priests! I have learned that nobody is ever alone. Everyone is here to help everyone else succeed. If there was such a thing, this would be the objective of the "No Seminarian Left Behind Act." Nobody should ever feel like they are alone in their discernment or their studies. We are here to encourage one another and grow ever more in love with Christ and His Church each day.

Speaking Out

A couple weeks ago, my Effective Speech class was given the assignment of delivering a persuasive speech. The objective of this speech was to persuade someone to change their look on subject or to make them see two sides to a story. Some chose to give speeches on why school year round is bad, or why one sports team is simply better than another.

Surprisingly some students chose controversial topics to speak about such as stances on pro-abortion and gay marriage. Because of this I decided to also speak on a controversial topic, wanting to show my insight and my stance on these topics. My initial intention was to speak out against abortion, but when someone else chose that topic, I decided to choose another.

The topic I chose to speak about was Anti-Gay Marriage. This was a something that many Christians have fought against ever since five of our fifty states passed laws that allowed two persons of the same-sex to get married. I felt that I should speak out about my stance on it because many of my classmates are in favor of gay marriage. I feel that as Christians and as Catholics in particular, we should be able to teach others about our faith not just by our words but also by our actions. Please feel free to read my speech below-

The United States Constitution, the supreme law of the land, is decorated with laws and regulations with which our government runs our nation with all due respect to the people. Over the years, certain states of our country have endorsed and promoted questionable and controversial laws that not only are immoral and illogical but also fog the lens of our country’s law-makers, forcing them to blindly pass laws that destroy the sanctity of human life and the reason why we are here.

The definition of marriage in the Merriam-Webster dictionary states that marriage “is the binding of one man and one woman to each other in a consensual as well as contractual relationship both in the eyes of the state and in the eyes of God.” New York’s Cardinal-Elect Timothy Dolan recent blog post from May 2011 states, “Marriage is at the very core of civilization.” By this simple statement, Cardinal-Elect Dolan is implying that with out the essence of man and woman uniting together in a pro-creative act of sexual intercourse within the confines of marriage, there would be no hope for mankind. Without man and woman combining their naturally separate and uniquely different bodies we would cease to exist as a city, as a country and as an entire world. There are countless individuals however, who fail to see this point.

Fairly recently, five of our fifty states have passed laws allowing this beautiful unification of man and woman to also be open to either two men or two women. According to Assembly Speaker Sheila Oliver of the New Jersey Senate, “ the passing of this law is seen as the third and final leg of the civil rights movement, initially started by Martin Luther King Jr. as a means to bring social and political equality to the African-American race. “

Please don’t take my remarks here as a sign that I am anti-gay or hateful towards the lesbian/gay/transgender community. I realize that many people simply are born with attractions toward the same sex and this is a very difficult and often times tormenting state in which to exist without the freedom to express their unique sexual identity. However, those people who claim a sexual orientation that is anything other than heterosexual are not able to naturally bear children for which the union and sanctity of marriage was created.

Am I saying that those in the gay and lesbian community can’t live together and enjoy the benefits of friendly companionship and the care of family for one another? No, I am not. But I am saying that the legal benefits that come with marriage should be reserved for those of the opposite sex. Marriage should involve one man and one woman only.
Gay Marriage has a surprising effect on children. Marriage more times than not involves reproduction. A man and woman create a human life and give it the opportunity to grow and develop in the world. The gift of life enables the new born to discern the many aspects of life such as emotions, triumphs and struggles and ultimately the meaning of life. Without man and woman, none of this would be possible. With two men or two women, a child would be deprived of having a true father or mother figure in their life. As a result of gay marriage, children in same-gender relationships often experience social marginalization, ridicule and harassment. This is not to say that children reproduced from heterosexual relationships are not teased too, but it would be more prevalent in a homosexual relationship.

To clarify my stance on this subject, I agree that people who feel attracted to the same sex are not bad people. These feelings a person has, he or she is simply born with. I totally understand that concept. However, I also understand that even though you as a person with these feelings, should not be able to flaunt your sexual identity. I believe that even though people are sexually attracted to others, he or she should not be able to act on it. Perhaps the lawmakers of our country will realize the importance of morality over desire. A desire or a want can sometimes be transferred into an immoral act, sometimes depriving us from the ability to discern what is right.

Our society is taught that nowadays “if you truly want something, you have the right to strive for it.” However, taking a religious point of view, it is okay to live a chaste life. Just because you feel attracted to the same sex, these feelings shouldn’t force you to make the decision to act on it. We need to realize that chastity and purity, which are two fading ideas in our world, are very important considering how many people obtain sexually transmitted diseases. In order to remove the anti-gay marriage laws, we need to go back to thoughts of morality, purity, cleanliness and embrace our sexuality of any source, all within the context of living to glorify our creator with our lives.

A Letter of Inquiry

Just a few short weeks ago, my Effective Composition class was assigned to write and mail a letter of inquiry to someone that had affected us in a particular way whether it was positive or negative. The purpose of this letter was to write to someone who inspired us to listen to our heart and follow our dreams and hopefully receive some sort of response back with some sort of advice. Many people in my class chose to write to rock stars, politicians and even to the President of the United States of America. I chose to write to Archbishop Dolan. I would be absolutely thrilled if I get a response back! Below is my letter to the Archbishop.

Dear Archbishop Dolan,

My name is John Bender and I am a senior at Nathan Hale High School in West Allis, WI. I am writing to you today because you are a huge inspiration to me and countless others who follow the Catholic faith. My family and I have been life long members of St. Matthias Parish in Milwaukee, and loved getting to meet, talk with you and receive an occasional bear-hug or headlock from you. It was so awesome just to be able to approach you with questions, talk briefly about sports or simply just say hello. I remember having breakfast with you at the first annual vocations seminary summer camps that were held at St. Francis De Sales Seminary, which had been coordinated by Father James Lobacz. Just the way you were always smiling, making jokes and praying so hard during Mass all made a huge impact on me and my own vocation.

For my Effective Composition class I was assigned to write a letter to someone that inspires me and encourages me to follow my dreams. Many of my classmates are writing to professional athletes, rock stars and politicians. I chose to write to you. Ever since I was in in 5th grade, I have felt a call to the Catholic priesthood. I have been attending Mass regularly, participating as an acolyte, lector and cantor. I have also attended discernment groups and vocation camps offered by the seminary. I am also thinking off enrolling at St. Joseph’s College Seminary Program in Chicago as a seminarian for the Archdiocese of Milwaukee next year.

The reason why I am writing to you is because I am seeking words of wisdom and answers to questions that I have while I am still discerning. I couldn’t think of a better person to ask. I am wondering if at any time during your discernment process you felt temptation, and what you did to overcome it and continue on your path to priesthood? I’m also wondering how your prayer life was during your discernment and if you had a special saint in particular that you prayed to as you continued on the path that you were going. Any other additional advice you would have for someone who is discerning the priesthood would be really appreciated. Thanks so much for your time and for reading this letter. I know that you are extremely busy but I would really appreciate any advice or help you could give me.

Sincerely,

John Bender

Feelings

It seems that every time someone looks like they have everything together, does the right thing or seems holy beyond measure, it seems like at that moment that the Devil will come after you hard. He will try to tempt you, try to exploit your weaknesses, trying to get you to let go just once from God and what he wants you to do.

This is something that I'm sure everyone has experienced, and unfortunately its something that I'm going through right now. At this point in my life, I feel under attack, then again doesn't everyone feel this way once in a while? Still, this feeling really bothers me. It bothers me that people look at my blog, write to me asking for advice, telling me that I will make a great priest someday and look at me as someone who is surely on the right path. It bothers me that I write back emails answering questions, counseling fellow friends, trying to give away words of wisdom, all while I struggle with very same things. I feel like a complete hypocrite.

It's easy for me when things are going right to say: "Lord, give me a cross to carry, and let me bring others closer to you and lead by example," but then as soon as a little temptation hits me, I'm done and I give up. On the outside I may look like I persevere through temptation and sin but on the inside when no ones looking over my shoulder, at that moment, that's when I give in to temptation. People tell me that I am strong in my faith, but in honest truth, my faith is weak. The quote, "How do you live your life, when no one is watching?", makes me think of myself every single time.

This may seem like a dark and depressing blog post, probably one that many of you will pass over. Some of you maybe thinking to yourself, "He used to have strong faith, and now it looks like he is no longer faithful to God. He has lost all hope and trust." But isn't this true for all of us? Isn't this something that we all face? Everywhere we look there are distractions, traps, bad decisions and sometimes they do get the best of us, but the challenge is making sure that no matter what we do, no matter how far down in the dark we feel, that we still stretch out our hands toward Jesus and His loving mercy.

Jesus loves us no matter how many bad things we do or say, but its up to us to make an effort towards Him. If we even so much as take a step in God's direction, we know that He will run a million miles to where you stand. We all have ups and downs, we all have difficult challenges that we face, but no matter how many times we fall, no matter how many times we feel worthless and down and covered in sin, we must remember how important it is to get back up and continue on the path to forgiveness. Christ will meet us there, guaranteed.

Seminary Reflection- " What is "Your" plan for me? Part 1

The next few posts that will be uploaded are my own reflections on my past seminary summer camp. They contain thoughts that crossed my mind and things that I struggled with while there. These posts have been divided into parts, each part being posted on a different day to create suspense, allow time for reflection and prayer for those who are also going through some of the same things I am currently undertaking, such as being in high school and also discerning a call to the priesthood. I hope that you enjoy each and every part of this story and share it with others who are dealing with similar feelings and thoughts in their own discernment processes.


Discernment processes for those thinking of certain vocations, particularly the Catholic Priesthood, provide an opportunity to grow in your faith in God, to expand your love for our Mother Church whom you will ultimately give your entire life to and lastly, to learn how to trust one another. You also learn how to help and guide one another on your own individual journeys.

Despite all of the positive influences and opportunities that you gain while discerning a possible vocation to the Catholic priesthood; There are in fact a few things that apply unneeded pressure and negative impacts for someone discerning. Lately there has been a one thing that has been pressuring me, my current education.

One of the things that I have learned in discussions and talks at my local seminary is that education is extremely important. You need four years of college and at least a philosophy major and theology degree. This is my final year of high school coming up, so my life is busy with researching colleges and programs, taking ACT tests and working full time to save money for tuition. I'm realizing real quick that life is hard.

Before I even enter a college, I need to meet requirements. I need to match grade point average scales, ACT test scores and cumulative grade scores to the colleges that I am interested in. Lets just say that school has always been tough. To be honest, I am a horrible test taker. It certainly shows on my ACT scores, which were well below the requirement for a number of colleges I had wanted to attend. This has certainly made me start rethinking my vocation and filled me with doubt. After all I have taken the ACT test twice already, each time coming out feeling very confident, so sure that I had such a great score only to find out two weeks later that I had not met my expectations.

Thoughts began filling my head with, "How can I become a priest when I can't even get out of high school? What is wrong with me that no matter how hard I study, things just don't work in my favor? God does not want a dumb, uneducated man to become his priest! How can God lead me through all of these summer camps that I relish each and every summer while placing seminarians, priests and even bishops in front of me to inspire, teach and guide me, just so I can fall short of expectations and realize that the priesthood is no longer a possibility?" I became angry at God... What is "Your" plan for me?

-To be continued

Lenten Struggles

Hi everybody! I haven't posted anything in a while. I have been under a lot of stress lately. I try not to let others know how I am feeling, but it seems like everything overwhelms me. School has been rough for me trying to keep grades up and improve the ones that are not so great. I have become very lazy and often I pass on doing my homework right away, in order to do the things that I consider more important. I know that school is very important and that in order to get into colleges I need to put forth all the effort that I have into my school work. Everything seems to bother me and overwhelm me.

My Lenten promises that I made, small sacrifices meant to strengthen my relationship with God and give me a small taste of what it feels like to give up something you love and exchange it for a deeper bond with Christ are hard to give up. It is hard for me to stick with them. I feel like my relationship with God is sort of faltering. I feel so far away from his presence and his love. Perhaps I might be feeling this way because of the church season? Lent after all, is often viewed as a sad reflective church season.

Although I feel far away from and unworthy of God's love, I realize that even though this season of Lent is a sad and reflective season because we reflect upon the death of our Lord Jesus, but it can also be seen as a season of joy! We can see this as an opportunity to deepen our relationship with Christ by looking on what we are struggling with and then going to God with our arms wide open and trusting in him to take complete care of us. This season may seem to be sad, but it does not have to be our mindset. We can have a happy and joyful Lent, one that can deepen our relationship with our God who loves us despite our struggles and problems.

A Blessed Lent Everyone!

Chicago, Chicago, that toddling town!

This past weekend I took a trip along with two of my friends from the summer seminary camps to go to visit St. Joseph's Seminary College on the Loyola University campus. The idea was for high school students to take a trip down to see how college seminary life is down in Chicago, staying over night, shadowing students in their Theology, History and Psychology classes and just generally getting to know other men who are discerning God's call and have made the decision to go from high school to a seminary college preparing students for the diocesan priesthood. Some of the men were from our Archdiocese of Milwaukee. It was fun getting to know them and spend time with them.

What me and friends realized was that these men were very normal, typical college students only a few years older then myself! It was fun playing games with them, going out to dinner at Giordano's restaurant (which I must say has the best "Chicago style" deep-dish pizza ever!) and seeing them goofing off together and enjoying themselves.

After spending two and a half days there touring Chicago, visiting the beautiful Madonna Della Strada Chapel(see above picture) and going to classes to get a taste of college life, it was time to say goodbye. Our departure started off by taking the Chicago metro, which is basically a subway above the ground that runs back and forth from various parts of Chicago to downtown. We had to take the metro downtown and then walk 6 blocks to the Union Station in order to board the Amtrak Hiawatha #333 train headed to Milwaukee. After purchasing our tickets, our train left at 10:20 AM. Prior to this trip, I had never been on a train except for the kiddie train at the Milwaukee County Zoo, so this was a fantastic new experience for me and my friends.

The train ride was super fast. It only took us an hour and fifteen minutes! It literally felt like we were floating on air, it was so fast and yet so quiet. The vocation director at St. Francis De Sales Seminary Father Peter Berger, who had arranged this trip for us, was there at the train stop to pick us up. Father Peter then took us back to the seminary where our parents were there to pick us up.

The trip to Chicago was one the most exciting experiences I have ever had. It has really helped me to get a feel for how college life is and the many responsibilities that come with it. As this year goes by and as the next quickly comes I will be looking at a number of colleges and see which one would really benefit me and my education. Visiting St. Josephs has really giving me a new aspect on college life is. I would like to thank Father Peter Berger for inviting me to checkout St. Josephs to see how life in the college seminary is down in Chicago. I would also like to thank all of the young men and staff for their warm hospitality and welcome towards us. These young men may someday God willing, become the world's next generation of priests and I will keep them close to my heart in prayer. Thanks again for everything. It was a blast!

Time to get back to work!

Well after a wonderful three months away from writing papers, studying for tests and taking the dreaded final exams, its time to go back to work! Today is my first day of school! I'm actually pretty excited because I'm beginning the new school year at a brand new school. I transferred from St. Thomas More to Nathan Hale High School. Starting off at a new school is always challenging but at least I have a couple of friends that I know that go there. That always makes things easier. I'm actually looking forward to school this year, especially having my two younger brothers there with me!

This summer I had a chance to work at my home parish as a summer maintenance helper. I had to clean all the classrooms in the school, clean the church and the entire area surrounding it. It was hard work! It wasn't easy waking up early during the summer to go to work Monday through Friday from six in the morning until two in the afternoon. I learned a lot from this experience though. I learned that taking care of the church is hard work!

A priest could be considered a maintenance worker for the Church. He looks after it, cares for it, rebuilds it when it starts becoming run down. He fixes the places that are broken and weathered. A priest loves the church and would do anything to keep it running smooth so that others can come to it and love it just as he does. I learned that this is how we all should be. The Church needs strong men and women to become like maintenance workers to fix it, love it and nurture it.

This summer taught me a lot of lessons that I will need in my life and I am so glad that I learned them when I did. So as I begin this new school year, I ask for your prayers that I maybe continue to love the Lord and grow closer to Him as well as bringing others closer to Him. I pray that I may become a friend to the friendless, show mercy to those who are not shown mercy and to show love to those who do not feel loved. Please keep me and all children in your prayers as we journey through this new school year.

God Bless!:)

John